Because Sally sometimes puts pink streaks in her hair.
“You’re not going to do this forever are you?”
Sally is a regular customer at the coffee shop where I work. Like the majority of our regulars, her coffee order is stored in my memory: medium skinny latte no sugar with chocolate on top. Sometimes, she orders a slice of banana bread and then pays after she finishes her shift. I can always count on Sally for a sarcastic banter or two. She can probably always count on me to put chocolate on her latte.
“No, not forever,” I finally reply.
As humans, there are a few things we avoid doing in public. For example, I wouldn’t sit down in the middle of the road, pull out a newspaper and proceed to do a number two. Except for a couple of people and most canines, I think I am not alone in this. For me, there also appears to be other things I avoid doing in public; admitting that I want to be a writer tops the list.
“So where would this course take you?” Sally asks me.
After telling her about the postgraduate course I enrolled in, she began an interrogation that nearly compromised my ability to remember her coffee order. Medium skinny latte no sugar with chocolate on top, I had to remind myself. There was one time when she ordered an iced-coffee and caught me off guard but that was it. I don’t ever forget her coffee order.
“I… I… don’t know. Somewhere… I hope,” I answered hesitantly.
It’s strange how easily we can admit to hating our job. Somehow, it’s an accepted - almost expected - part of life to hate the work you do. And yet, the moment you admit to having a dream, the doubts settle in and not least from yourself. Could it be that we are afraid that reality might fail us? Or that we might fail to create our reality?
But why?
There is no shame in passion or time wasted living it. Really, more time is wasted avoiding this pursuit. Perhaps as humans one of the few things we avoid doing in public and private is believing ourselves worthy and capable of living our dreams, of being the people we want to be and creating the reality we want.
I want to be a writer.
One day, I sat down and wrote a list of the reasons I wanted to write and this statement was what it came down to: “I write because I must”. I am a prisoner of the thing that consumes me wherein I have left myself with the choice to be taken in or released only through my own surrender.
So, I enrolled in a writing course.
I may not remember every coffee order forever. Someday, I might forget that Sally likes her lattés skinny and with chocolate on top but writing…
Yes, this I will do forever.
Krystle Westra
- Hello. My name is Krystle and I am 22. I live in a suburban building site and I really wish they didn’t build KFC here. I did Sociology at uni once and I also did Woodwork in high school. Two things I am known to be obsessed with: sunsets and taking photos of sunsets.
- Published: March, 2007