Happiness and the Tyranny of Abundance
I’ve never been the most wealthiest of people. In fact, I don’t even need a budget or a balance sheet to be able to tell you that.
Two years ago, I found myself living in a tiny office space. Earlier that same year I had resigned from a company which I had started with two good friends, went on to work for an existing client and eventually left it all to begin training as a low level employee in a casino.
There was a serendipity in that for the first time in years, the only person I was responsible for was myself. No siblings to worry about. No obligations to business partners. However there was a bitter melancholy towards my solitary predicament and an equal resentment towards the mountain of debt and unpaid bills that I was now to face on my own.
So I began budgeting.
I read about various budgeting methods on the Internet and wrote software that allowed me to allocate my income and track my expenses. For a few months, I kept track of my money in meticulous detail. My software was able to tell you how much KFC I had consumed over a given period of time. It could tell you how much coffee I drank last week and when. But despite all of this, the interface was clunky and cumbersome and every day I would come home to a growing pile of receipts that had to be entered in.
Managing my budget was hard work and I wasn’t actually making much progress on my debts. I would often walk into JB Hi-Fi and find myself defenceless against the onslaught of cheap popular music. Thanks to the digital music revolution, traditional CDs have become cheap carrot and stick for suckers like myself.
It was all too complicated. I needed to simplify. It didn’t really matter exactly how much money I spent at a particular fast food outlet, but rather how much money I spent on eating out in general. I threw away my software and using an Excel spreadsheet, redesigned my budget for simplicity. To better understand the psychology of money I began consuming weblogs, books, magazines, and everything I could on personal finance.
Every day we are bombarded with an infinite paradox of choice in the form of marketing. In fact our relationships with money are founded on these very choices. When you choose not to buy things you don’t really need, you also learn to appreciate the things you already have. When you choose to drink coffee once instead of two times a day, you have the freedom to donate the money you save to a cause that’s really important to you. These seemingly trivial choices have the potential to really fulfil not only your financial but also your life goals.
Armed with a new found ability to make choices, I stopped spending frivolously. I sold my share in a business I was in partnership with. I directed every spare dollar I had towards debt. One after the other, I eliminated the balances on my credit cards and my personal loans. It wasn’t long before I had paid off in excess of ten thousand dollars in debt.
What became clear is that wealth is not the result of an abundance of money, but rather the product of a healthy relationship with it. This is an astounding affirmation; what it meant was that anyone could be wealthy. It doesn’t matter how much or how little you make; wealth is a choice.
Furthermore, what’s really important is not so much abundance that makes us happy but rather relationships.
Having a hundred friends may seem like a valuable investment in time, but if you can’t create and develop meaningful connections with any of them, what’s the point?
You can spend thousands of dollars creating an image of the ideal you; but do clothes, books and personal development seminars matter if you don’t learn to love and respect yourself first?
So this journey that had it’s humble beginnings in an office turned home is all about relationships:
- My relationships with friends and colleagues.
- My relationship with money.
- Even my relationships with girls.
But most important of all, this journey is about my relationship with myself.
John Ngo
- John is a web developer and serial entrepreneur who moonlights as a croupier.
- Published: February, 2007
I hear you brother…working ridiculous hours while I was at uni, gave me the luxury to possess quite flamboyant spending habits. Now that I’m out of uni, and on a hiatus before I venture out into the ‘real’ working world… I find myself broke.
Everything that was an established norm, from addictive coffee habits to indulgence in fast food, has to now be checked and controlled.
Positively, from this I found ways to keep me (and my mind) occupied to keep me away from temptations. I have also discovered an
ebay
style of living. And finally.. I can cook!
Nel
- February 7th, 2007, 6:18 pm
You’ve hit the nail on the head John - “wealth is not the result of an abundance of money, but rather the product of a healthy relationship with it.”
Good luck with your relationships and pls continue to share your journey, I can use all the advice and perspective I can get hehe 
Dorothy Go
- February 8th, 2007, 3:19 pm
OFF THE TOPIC:
Hey John, I posted a comment for Francis but it didn’t post. I posted it a couple of days ago. See what you can do yeah? Oh and how do you start a blog like this? So user friendly and easy to read.
Dorothy Go
- February 8th, 2007, 3:27 pm
Thanks for your feedback Dorothy, much appreciated.
As for your comment a few days ago, I’m afraid it’s probably disappeared into the ether. I was alerted to the fact that some people couldn’t submit comments, and as it turned out, nobody could submit comments. So I had to rebuild the website again using a different weblog engine.
That fixed comments, and as you can see, people are commenting, yay!
In terms of setting up your own weblog, Blogger would be the easiest and you’ll get your own yourname.blogspot.com web address. If you wanted to get your own domain name, I could easily help you out with that.
Oh and if you were keen on becoming a contributor, then there may be an opportunity there also.
John Ngo
- February 8th, 2007, 3:52 pm
Um… part of my comment got deleted. I didn’t mean to write the last paragraph in bold letters, I actually meant to quote you… So here’s what my comment is supposed to look like:
John you’re so right. I think when it comes down to it, it’s always about having a healthy relationship with anything (eg., food, money). Excess I believe can be dangerous.
“It doesn’t matter how much or how little you make; wealth is a choice”.
This is so true. Up until I actually got off my butt and started a savings account, the only way you could tell that I am earning more now than when I was working 15 hours a week is that I am now buying more drinks when I’m out.
Krystle
- February 9th, 2007, 9:14 am
True john.. although i didnt experience that as rough as you did.. perhaps not even a fraction but i can see the point your bringing accross. And its a crucial point, because it underlines most aspects of life.
uros
- February 12th, 2007, 12:49 am
I concur; it’s not about abundance that makes me truly happy. Making a true connection with someone and building a relationship is pure magic even if it’s for a few seconds, the euphoria you feel is priceless.
Francis Go
- February 13th, 2007, 3:34 pm
Hey Franz, (& all your friends at this blog)
First of all, the family hopes you are looking after yourself while in Thailand.
NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST
Of all the things that define human beings, education appears to have the highest link with success. We are urged throughout childhood to do well in school and take our bachelor’s degree as a pre-requisite toward a comfortable life. As they say - there is a promise implicit in this process: follow instructions,please others,obey the rules and happiness will be yours.
But frequently, those who have succeeded in this system also feel lost. They have a secure job, have a wife & children — yet feel that what they aspired to now seem like a burden. They constantly think of what they might have missed.
What you are doing overseas is perhaps a pleasurable detour. ( I know your Dad and I would have liked you to have saved more, which you have proved capable of doing before you venture out into this extended wandering if you want to call it that way)
In any case, I accept what you want to do. Your willingness to get out there and see something of the world and perhaps educate yourself in ways not available in the workplace or in the classroom.
This is your form of wandering - (which I thought would have ended in your spiritual exploration in Japan a few years back) - your courage to get out of the norm and take risks in the struggle to find happiness and meaning.
But as your parents, who have known poverty in its most miserable form, we hope that with all the longings and searchings you aim to do in your life… you don’t lose track of what is really important.
Will you find time to also go to the Philippines or to be more specific to Naguilian - the town of your birth? Rap who is teaching IT in one of the colleges there will show you around. The new house is finished. The third floor is strictly for us to stay in when we visit.
I look forward to your replies.
(PS. How can you attach photos in this blog?)
eve
- February 16th, 2007, 1:42 am